Hazel Adeline on songwriting, authenticity and identity
Artwork Credit: Hazel Adeline
Hazel Adeline is a natural storyteller. The Massachusetts-based songwriter/producer puts out music often, each song providing a glimpse of her innermost thoughts. Late last year, she released two full-length albums, Color of Nothing and ego death & nightmares, a month apart. Despite the short amount of time between releases, they couldn’t be more different.
On Color of Nothing, Adeline is joined by other vocalists (including LEKHA), a string section and full instrumentation. In contrast, we experience Adeline on her own on ego death & nightmares. Across both, she shares stories of internal battles and choosing growth over interpersonal conflict. Moving between singer-songwriter, indie rock and screamo, it’s the transparency in her work that sets her apart.
We connected with Hazel to discuss her early memories of songwriting, capturing emotion in one take, authenticity and more.
Congrats on releasing two albums, Color of Nothing and ego death & nightmares within a month of each other. That’s a big feat! How are you doing?
Hazel Adeline: Thank you so much! I appreciate it, I’m doing alright.
Let’s go back to the beginning. Do you remember the experience of writing your first song?
Hazel Adeline: I believe so, or at least I remember one of the first songs I wrote. I had a friend when I was 14 who was going through a really tough point in their life and I felt kind of helpless knowing I couldn’t do much about what they were going through. So, I wrote a song called “Happiness” for them in an attempt to cheer them up. I was surprised that it actually did cheer them up a bit, and after that point I recognized that music can actually help people. I just felt a bit better knowing that I could make somebody feel good with my music, and that maybe my music could help more than just one person, so I never stopped writing.
There’s a real contrast in terms of cover art, instrumentation, production, etc. between the two albums. As a listener, Color of Nothing is perfectly polished, and ego death & nightmares is gritty. Ego death & nightmares touches on a lot of deeply personal issues–which are only heightened by the way it’s produced–almost like an immediate response to pent up emotions. What was the motivation behind releasing the two albums within a short amount of time?
Hazel Adeline: Creating Color of Nothing was definitely a more calculated process as opposed to ego death & nightmares, so I can see what you mean by the difference in production. I originally was just going to release Color of Nothing and then wait a while to make more music, but I reached a point in my life recently where I needed a way to process all these things that had happened in my past, how I was feeling about them in the present, and where I wanted to go next. This sort of processing of everything turned into ego death & nightmares, and I felt the need to release it promptly after finishing it to be as candid as possible given the subject matter. Every song on the album, minus “fabricated love” and “nightmare”, was recorded in one take and mixed once for that same reason; I wanted it to be honest, not polished or calculated –– just a raw interpretation of what was happening in my brain at that exact moment.
You’ve talked about the difficulty of writing ego death & nightmares and your intention for the songs to be an anchor for people who might feel alone. Was there an artist or album that you feel provided that same feeling for you?
Hazel Adeline: Yeah, so over the past few years I got really into Brakence, specifically his album hypochondriac, and I feel like his lyrics made me feel less alone in what I was going through during a really tough point in my life. That album is one I have cried to, shared with friends a million times over, and felt many emotions with. It holds a special place in my heart and I imagine it does for a lot of people. A lyric that resonates with me heavily off of it is from the song “deepfake”, he says, “As I was splitting my hair / it’s all a Vanity Fair / I’ll leave the body I wear / And you can bring me to Hell”. I think I feel what he’s saying so much because, as a transfeminine person, I felt a pressure for a long time to fit into these impossible beauty standards that both cisgender and transgender women are expected to reach. Although that isn’t exactly what he might mean by saying that, I feel as though this line is a protest to being put into a box and putting on a facade for other people, both identity-wise and as an artist trying to “make it” in the industry. I feel like this lyric and this album are both not only masterfully written, but also leave room for resonance regardless of who you are, and I think that’s why it makes me feel less alone in this crazy, individualistic world.
In your work, you touch on mental health, trans identity, and the responsibility we each have for our own healing–staying true to your own voice. What does authenticity in songwriting mean to you?
Hazel Adeline: Authenticity is something I feel is very important in music. I feel like the music I enjoy and many people tend to resonate with is the music that is genuine and heartfelt, music that comes from a place of needing to make it. Because we live in an era where social media has made us crave attention and has basically made us fake people when it comes to posting online, and everyone with an Instagram account is guilty of that, including myself. In that vein, I feel like music should be a space outside the chaos of getting people to like you –– I feel like it should be a sacred space where the artist doesn’t have to lie to the audience about how they’re feeling, what they get up to, and who they are at their core in order to gain something. At the end of the day, though I’ve been caught up in the number of streams I get before, how many likes I get, how much attention is on me, I could care less as long as I make one person feel heard or seen. Because that’s what music is about to me –– communicating the honest version of you that you are at any given moment in time in order to squeeze any bit of humanity out of another, so we can both hear our hearts beating and remind ourselves that being alive is a beautiful thing, and we are beautifully tragic creatures who, albeit are doomed to have our lives end, are not alone in the wanes and waxes of our own struggles to cope with existing in a universe that is apathetic to whether or not we leave too soon. If you aren’t being honest with yourself, with others in your art –– what are you really doing it for?
What is your biggest challenge as an independent artist? What’s your favorite way of showing up for your favorite artists?
Hazel Adeline: I’d say the biggest challenge is marketing my music as an independent artist. It’s incredibly difficult to not only maintain an audience of people who want to listen to you pour your heart out on a track, but to expand that audience, to reach new listeners. I’ve been releasing music since 2018, in that time I have amassed a great audience of people who really care about my music, and for that I’m incredibly grateful, but I will say that it’s hard to reach new people as a solo artist with no team behind me, no agent, and no A&R. Granted, I don’t know if all those things are things I’d even want down the line because I enjoy having the sheer amount of creative freedom I have. And I know a lot of independent artists who have none of those things as well who are incredibly talented and struggle with the same thing. I show up for them by going to their shows, promoting their music on social media, and streaming their music when I get the chance. But yeah, getting to see my friends play their music live and hearing people scream back the lyrics they wrote is definitely one of my favorite things in general. I love seeing my friends play shows like that after watching them play in basements years ago, it’s cathartic.
Is there anything else you want people to know about your work?
Hazel Adeline: Yes! I am working on some music that I’m planning to release in early 2025, and I am very excited about it. If you want to hear my music, you can find me anywhere you stream music under Hazel Adeline. And if you want to stay updated on my new releases or just see what I’m working on, you can find me on Instagram at thehazeladeline. Other than that, keep on keeping on and keep your eyes peeled in 2025.
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